I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
