is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm too high and old for this...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
