Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
