You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
