Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
