I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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