Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
