carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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