East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
