but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize