I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
