Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
