your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
