he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
