Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize