Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
