areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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