So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
