pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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