somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
