walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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