remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
there's paper in my vomit.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
