he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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