you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
