he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
