I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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