i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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