Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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