its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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