The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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