You're so nebulous sometimes
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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