dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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