my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
