you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
