Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize