Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
