So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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