I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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