is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
a search helicopter?!
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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