You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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