apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
