You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
