you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
