I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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