fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
