THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
