We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
