i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize