he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
