They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I didn't notice because vodka
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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