We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
