areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
another moral hangover. fuck.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
