I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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