Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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