I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
