I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
