ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize