Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
this just has baby written all over it
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
