well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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